Does a wedding ring replace an engagement ring?

Yesterday in a conversation with a friend, the topic of engagement and wedding rings came up. One of the most interesting pieces of the conversation was about what to do with the engagement ring after you get married and therefore have a wedding ring. I know there are a lot of engagement-wedding ring sets where the rings are meant to be worn together (like all these rings on the Robbins Bros website) and there are even some where the rings are so fitted together they don't even look like they can or should be worn apart.

But what if you get them separate? Does the wedding band need to match the ring? Do the wedding rings of the couple getting married need to match, even if it might not match the engagement ring? Or does the woman just stop wearing the engagement ring?

Well, I did a little digging on the tradition of ring wearing and -- long story short -- it doesn't matter that much anymore. Yes, there are many different traditions which depend on your religion and ethnic background, but the times are changing fast and nowadays it really comes down to personal preference.

Most couples are not getting fully matching weddings bands anymore; instead opting for a stylish broader band for a man and a sleeker, often more complimentary to the engagement ring, band for a woman. It seems that most women wear their wedding ring over their engagement ring on the left hand, following the European tradition.

Of course, with times being so modern as they are, there are so many alternatives. Some couples forego the engagement ring altogether. I heard of one guy who got a wedding "band" tattooed on his left ring finger because wearing jewelry would be a hassle/hazard but he still wanted a band there.

When you're making these decisions, it ultimately comes down to what you and your significant other want. If traditions are important to you, go with that. Stay true to your style and remember that your rings are a reflection of who you are and your relationship together. It just has to make sense and have meaning to you.

Patty and Jason's Wedding 8/16/08

Jason is a friend of the family from many, many years ago. He's pretty much the big brother figure for most of the extended family. He met Patty in pharmacy school at UCSD (yes, my undergrad alma mater) and as time went on, they became really good friends. Almost all the toasts paid tribute to their solid friendship being the cornerstone of their solid relationship.

Me and Jason, who is like a big brother to me.


Their wedding took place at the Grand Pacific Palisades Resort and Hotel in Carlsbad, CA. A lot of people traveled from Los Angeles to San Diego for the event so it was lucky that they accounted for this by planning the wedding, cocktails, and reception all for the evening.

Here is the arch under which the ceremony would take place. It took me several shots to get this right because it was white, outdoors, and back-lit since it was almost sunset. (The ceremony started at 5 pm)


Isn't this adorable? I love seeing little kids in dresses and suits. I don't actually know who those kids are but they were just about the only little ones there. Jason is an only child and I don't think Patty's sister has any kids yet so I guess they didn't have any nieces or nephews to use as flower girls and ring bearers.


The officiant was a friend of theirs. The exchanging of vows was actually really short, save for Patty's delays because she was trying not to cry =)
I really like this shot because I caught the officiant holding up the ring and talking about the symbolism behind it.


You may now kiss the bride!


Mr. and Mrs. Jason and Patty Lam!


After the ceremony and before the dinner, they had a cocktail hour which I don't have many pictures from. There was an open bar and hor'dourves. I asked one of the bartenders for something "sweet and fruity" and he gave me a drink called a Victoria's Secret which he said had 3 types of alcohol and 3 types of juice. It was delicious.

They decided to forego a registry and ask for traditional red envelopes. In Chinese culture, it is traditional to give cash in lucky red envelopes (amount based on how close you are to the marrying couple) instead of gifts to compensate for the cost of the wedding and to help the new couple begin their lives together. The pretty white box is for the envelopes. As you can see, they still got people who gave actual gifts. The picture is neat; they had two different pictures, which were taken after their engagement, for guests to sign around the matting.
In case you were curious, I wrote "May every day of your marriage be as magical as today."


Isn't this centerpiece amazing? Our table was in the back, so for decor purposes it made sense for ours to be the biggest and tallest one.


Their wedding favors were bags of M&Ms in their wedding colors (pink and brown) with the phrases "Jason & Patty," "Patty & Jason," (they like to be fair, I guess), "husband and wife," and "married 8.16.08" printed on them.


They had copies of their engagement pictures, also used in the wedding announcement and their wedding website, on every table with the number.


This was the Dinner Menu, obviously, printed in their color scheme. =P


This was dinner! This was a huge plate and I ate most of it but it really filled me up.


Post-cake cutting kiss! (Extra points for alliteration) Lovely cake, right? It was chocolate and a bit too sweet but it was served with coffee so that balanced it out nicely.


This was my favorite picture all night. This is a classic Patty face, where she's sort of saying "what are you doing??" and it really shows the humorous and friendly nature of their relationship.


I snagged this picture with them just before we left. I know, it's kinda weird that I'm standing between them but I was taking a picture with Patty and then Jason just happened to come up on that side so we pulled him in.


All in all, a beautiful wedding!

Hiatus Explained

In my introduction I said I was a recent college graduate and very interested in the fields of wedding and event planning... but as I'm doing my research and trying to find positions in those fields to work, as I do need money to get by, I am finding it more and more difficult to get my foot in the door. And I love event planning, I really do, but it has been really discouraging not being able to find a decently paying position -- or at this rate, even a paying position -- as entry level. There is a silver lining though: most of the coordination positions I'm finding pay pretty well... once you meet the "3-5 years of experience" qualification.

Anyhow, the job hunt has been a bit depressing, realizing that I may have to settle for something that won't further the skills I've trained in event planning just to have money to get by... On top of that, I have friends in computer programming that are getting wonderful job offers. They tell me I'll probably get a lot more out of my career than they ever will because I really do love it... but in the context of finding a job, it's not the most consoling thing right now.

So, I haven't really been feeling in the mood to blog, but I'm slowly coming out of my slump. I recently started my certificate in Events Planning at USD, which really just means I'm taking a class right now called Entertainment Events Management since they don't offer classes simultaneously during the school year. More importantly, I've realized that I need to take action to make changes to my situation.

"If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, water your own lawn."

This week's goal: post pictures and comments from August wedding I attended

Making Sure the Guests Coordinate too

This article from The New York Times highlights a new trend in wedding coordination -- mandating a color scheme dress code for guests. Most often, the invitation will request something suited to the theme of the wedding such "light colors" or "dark colors" or "festival brights". In some cases, the invitation requested that guests not to wear a certain color which is reserved for the bride or bridesmaids.